Making the Most

 

It's funny ... I started blogging years ago and I really enjoyed it but gave it up because life got too busy.  Now I'm sitting here in front of this screen with a desire to share a thought again.

My first blog in probably 7 years, and I chose to do it on the I Don't Know Jack site.  What's so pressing in my head that I have to share?

Well ... yesterday I had both boys home (that's right ... there is a second one since I last did a blog) for the full day from school as it was a PA Day.  We built a lego set together, we had lunch and supper on the deck together and we ran around outside together with a bit of time on the trampoline.  

Today, I was lucky enough to be off again and got to spend some quality time with my youngest.  It was great.  We went for ice cream, we jumped on the trampoline and we played with legos.  (The trampoline thing almost killed me.  I never knew how much energy that actually takes.)  Each day finished with reading some books together and me reminding them how much I love them.

Now, I'd like to say this is a normal occurrence for me ... but I would be lying through my teeth.  When I look back and think of all the potential time that I've missed with them, it makes me numb.  But that doesn't mean that I still haven't had an impact on their lives.  However, it is a great reminder that each moment we have with the people we love is precious and we need to make the most of our time.  

When I think of all the times that I've wasted looking at something on my phone, or giving extra time doing stuff for work, I'm embarrassed.  My wife has even prompted me on a number of occassions to keep in the moment and to make the most of it.  (She's a very wise woman but don't tell her I said that.  I'll deny everything.)  But the whole reason I'm sharing this on here, is to remind myself to make the most of my current time and the time ahead of me.  I can't get the time back behind me, but I can sure make the most of the time that I still have.  Maybe someone reading this needs that reminder as well.  Either way, I know that for me, I need to keep this front and centre in my thoughts.

As for my boys, they are tucked into their beds with the knowledge that I love them very much.  I'm grateful for them as they are a gift that has changed my life for the better.  But tonight, I am going to cherish the last couple of days in my heart and strive to make the most of the days yet to come.  

Will I always get it right? ... Probably not.  

Am I going to do my best?  You better believe it!

Good Intentions, Bad Follow Through

I love spending time with my Little Man!  Since starting this blog and since my last post, we have had another Little Guy join the mix and it has been an exciting journey along the way.  Needless to say, a lot has changed since my last post.

I love to golf.  Unfortunately, I haven't really had a chance to do it since my oldest came into the picture.  I've said on a number of occasions that I really need to get out and swing the clubs again with some of my golfing friends.  The problem is, I've never had great follow through on my best intentions with doing that and hence my clubs are still collecting dust in the shed waiting for me to love them once more.  In seems that when I want to get out and play a round that something more important always seems to pop up and keep me from making it a reality.

With my sons, I always have great ideas of stuff that I want to do with them or for them.  The same could be said for my wife and how I want to keep her happy by doing things for her.  For example, I have had a honey do list that has been in the works since early last spring.  A year later, and many of those things are still on the list.  The truth is, I have great intentions of getting them done, but something always seems to become a greater priority then what is on that list.  I would love to say that it was playing golf, but that is not the case.  I have great intentions, but my follow through isn't always the best.  This can make for some very tense situations as my wife's love language is Acts of Service.  If you don't know what I am talking about, click here to find out more.  It is worth the read.  The truth is, my lack of follow through is laziness and I need to really change my behaviours if I want to make my marriage the best that it can be.  I need to pick up my weight and do my part.  It holds true for whatever I do.  Whether it is playing with my kids or my work ethic for the company I work for, I need to give my best in order to hold my own.  My follow through makes the difference.

I say all of this to inspire me to be a better person this year.  I want to be a better husband.  I want to be a better father.  I want to be a better employee.  I want to be better.  We should always try to find ways to improve so that in the game of life, our best intentions don't get stuck in the sand trap, but instead wind up on the green.  If anything, I hope my rambling today has encouraged you to take a look at yourself and see what opportunities that you have to follow through on some of your good intentions.  You never know what will happen when you take that extra effort and invest, not only in yourself, but also in the lives of those people that you're in contact with.  It could wind up making all the difference in how things land for you in the future.

Maybe I will get out for that round of golf this year, but if I don't, I hope it was because I was too busy getting that honey-do list completed.  My family will always bring me more joy then any round of golf could ever bring!


And that's a fact, Jack!

Hide and Seek

Tonight, we played hide and seek with the entire family and our Son. He was running around laughing and trying to find us. We were making noises to help him find us and so that we weren't in closets all night long.

Many times in life, we play hide and seek with our Heavenly Father. We either hide from Him and hope that he doesn't find us doing what we shouldn't be doing, or we realize that we lost our way and we try to find Him. The great thing is, God is easy to find and He is waiting for us to come to Him and just enjoy spending time with Him. 

2016 for me is really finding out how close I can get with God and how far I can get away from the old self. It's not an easy walk. Often, I find it a struggle to understand why people who don't follow Christ have it so easy. But then I remember that the end goal of an eternity with my God and King is going to be worth the effort to find God and show people His Love for them. 

Game on! Ready or not, here I come!


And that's a fact, Jack!

The Project

I'm looking for some help. What I'm hoping to do is collect comments from readers of this blog about things you would want your son/daughter to hear as they go through their journey of life.

If you couldn't give them the advice in person, what would you want them to know in one or two sentences.

Think of it as you could only give them a single post-it note.  My hope is to pull from your personal experience and combine them into a single document or possibly a book if I get enough feedback.

Please share this blog with as many of your friends as possible as the more input we get, the better the end result
. You can comment on this blog to share your thoughts. Thanks in advance for your help and I look forward to seeing what comes out of this.


And that's a fact, Jack!

Getting the Job Done

Working as a manager, I find myself often thanking the team that I work with for a job well done. There are not too many days that go by where we find ourselves pressured from the demands of the job and fighting to get deadlines met. Often, it requires long shifts and sleep deprived nights.

Jack is a happy little boy that is full of energy but he doesn't like to sleep for long periods of time. Often, he sleeps for 2 or 3 hours at a time. Many people have given us lots of suggestions, but for now, we find that he is up every few hours. 

Because my wife is breast feeding, there is not much I can do to help except change a few diapers. To be honest, I'm probably more in the way then a helpful as my wife is much more efficient when it comes to Jack's late night routines. She can manage to feed him, change him and get him back to sleep faster than I can get him out of his sleeper to get at his diaper. She's just good like that. 

This brings me back to my original thought. Often, I notice the job well done but how often am I as quick to say thank you for what she does every night as I am to say thank you at work? She has sleep deprived nights, long shifts and stressful days. Hmmmm ... Sounds familiar. 

Guys, take the time to be grateful for all the hard work that your wife does every day. It kind of ties in with my "Little Things" blog from a couple days ago. Give recognition where it is do and remember, she is the reason why you're able to be somewhat coherent at work the next day. 

Side note: to all the dads who are getting up and helping where you can, keep up the great work. Giving her the opportunity to sleep (although she probably really doesn't) while you take a shift is a great way of saying thank you. Just don't forget to verbalize it from time to time. 

So to my sleep deprived, hard working and beautiful wife ... Thank you. I appreciate all you do each and every day.


And that's a fact, Jack!

Little Things

Have you ever had an epiphany where you realized something about your life?  I usually realize it when I want to sleep, but maybe that's when I'm "quiet" enough to actually notice what is going on around me.

This blog is about sharing my experiences of being a father to my son and hopefully helping others through my experiences.  Today, I had an experience that I hope helps fathers.  I had a eureka moment tonight that made me take a second look at exactly what is going on around me.

On the weekend, my work had a Christmas party that was lots of fun.  It was a great time to get to know the staff that I work with a little bit better outside the pressures of work.  It was also my wife's first time away from our little boy and our first "date night" since Jack has arrived.  From a guy's perspective, it was life as normal.  From my wife's perspective, this was a huge milestone as it was the first time truly being "away" from her little man for more than an hour.  We both knew he was in good hands with my wife's parents, but for a mother, I watched her get antsy as the night got longer.  Guys, respect your wife's natural motherly attachment to her baby.  It will do you good.  When it is time to leave, get mama home.  But believe it or not, that is not what today's blog is about.  That is just a freebie.

After we came home from the party and we had gone to bed, I woke up around 2:30am not feeling well.  I actually wanted to vomit, but it wouldn't come up.  I'm not sure if it was something I ate or a 24 hour bug, but needless to say, I was not feeling well.  The bigger problem came that when I tried to lie down, the sensation of wanting to throw up came back.  So, I decided to stay awake and finally around 6:30am, I was able to fall asleep without the need to regurgitate my Christmas dinner.

Now anyone that has a baby knows that they are not the most quiet of beings.  However, my wife being fully aware that I hadn't slept through the night, took Jack and went out for the day.  She left me alone in our quiet home to catch up on some much needed sleep.  When she got home, she also baked some cookies and treats for me all well looking after our son.

*insert eureka moment slapping me in the face here*

Guys, I don't know how good you are at paying attention to the little things, but I learned today that the little things are really big things, especially when she is doing all those "little" things for me while continuing to care for our son and maintain the rest of her insanely busy schedule.

Take time to say thank you and acknowledge the "little" things that she does.  She is doing so much more than you think and it is all because she loves you.  There are so many ways you can show your appreciation but sometimes it is a simple, "thank you" that will go a long way to show her that you noticed.

To my wife ... Thank you!  I am a very blessed man and very grateful for all that you do!



And that's a fact, Jack!

Being Useless

I'm fortunate in my job to meet a lot of people.  I work in retail and we sell baby clothes, furniture and supplies which means that I have an opportunity to speak with a lot of new dads.  This past week was no exception.

I met a lovely couple and the dad was holding his new 5 week old baby, Oliver.  Oliver was extremely sweet and his dad was very proud.  We got chatting about things and I told him about this blog.  I told him about how I am writing about the experience of raising a child from the father's perspective and he was very intrigued.

Part of our conversation led me to my post for today.  Have any new dad's ever felt like they are, for the lack of a better word, useless?  There are times when I go to comfort Jack and all he ever really wants is his mom.  Sure, I have moments when I can make him laugh, but in his moments of desperation, those moments when I want to be able to help him most, that's when I find myself inadequate for his needs.

I know it is phase of his childhood, but as I spoke with Oliver's father, he too shared my feelings of inadequacy.  He understood what it felt like to be "useless".  He actually was quite raw with his emotions, but in the few moments we spoke, I could sense that it was bothering him as much as it bothers me.

I will always be there for my son, but I have come to terms with being "useless" isn't such a bad thing.  I get the opportunity to love my son but I also get to witness one of life's little miracles ... a mother's touch.  It is in that moment, when you hand your child back to their mother as they scream in desperation only to watch them calm almost instantly, that you realize that your "uselessness" is for their gain.  Your child will know you love them because you gave them what they needed ... mom.

As guys, we like to fix things.  We like to make things right.  But our only hope in making things right is by letting go and trusting that what your child needs most is not you, but her.

Guys, if I can encourage you with only one thing, remember that being useless sometimes is the best way to love your child the most.  You might not always feel the best, but your child will feel the best because of you giving them what they needed most.  Until a hug from dad is needed, let mom play her part and you enjoy being useless.


And that's a fact, Jack!