Getting the Job Done

Working as a manager, I find myself often thanking the team that I work with for a job well done. There are not too many days that go by where we find ourselves pressured from the demands of the job and fighting to get deadlines met. Often, it requires long shifts and sleep deprived nights.

Jack is a happy little boy that is full of energy but he doesn't like to sleep for long periods of time. Often, he sleeps for 2 or 3 hours at a time. Many people have given us lots of suggestions, but for now, we find that he is up every few hours. 

Because my wife is breast feeding, there is not much I can do to help except change a few diapers. To be honest, I'm probably more in the way then a helpful as my wife is much more efficient when it comes to Jack's late night routines. She can manage to feed him, change him and get him back to sleep faster than I can get him out of his sleeper to get at his diaper. She's just good like that. 

This brings me back to my original thought. Often, I notice the job well done but how often am I as quick to say thank you for what she does every night as I am to say thank you at work? She has sleep deprived nights, long shifts and stressful days. Hmmmm ... Sounds familiar. 

Guys, take the time to be grateful for all the hard work that your wife does every day. It kind of ties in with my "Little Things" blog from a couple days ago. Give recognition where it is do and remember, she is the reason why you're able to be somewhat coherent at work the next day. 

Side note: to all the dads who are getting up and helping where you can, keep up the great work. Giving her the opportunity to sleep (although she probably really doesn't) while you take a shift is a great way of saying thank you. Just don't forget to verbalize it from time to time. 

So to my sleep deprived, hard working and beautiful wife ... Thank you. I appreciate all you do each and every day.


And that's a fact, Jack!

Little Things

Have you ever had an epiphany where you realized something about your life?  I usually realize it when I want to sleep, but maybe that's when I'm "quiet" enough to actually notice what is going on around me.

This blog is about sharing my experiences of being a father to my son and hopefully helping others through my experiences.  Today, I had an experience that I hope helps fathers.  I had a eureka moment tonight that made me take a second look at exactly what is going on around me.

On the weekend, my work had a Christmas party that was lots of fun.  It was a great time to get to know the staff that I work with a little bit better outside the pressures of work.  It was also my wife's first time away from our little boy and our first "date night" since Jack has arrived.  From a guy's perspective, it was life as normal.  From my wife's perspective, this was a huge milestone as it was the first time truly being "away" from her little man for more than an hour.  We both knew he was in good hands with my wife's parents, but for a mother, I watched her get antsy as the night got longer.  Guys, respect your wife's natural motherly attachment to her baby.  It will do you good.  When it is time to leave, get mama home.  But believe it or not, that is not what today's blog is about.  That is just a freebie.

After we came home from the party and we had gone to bed, I woke up around 2:30am not feeling well.  I actually wanted to vomit, but it wouldn't come up.  I'm not sure if it was something I ate or a 24 hour bug, but needless to say, I was not feeling well.  The bigger problem came that when I tried to lie down, the sensation of wanting to throw up came back.  So, I decided to stay awake and finally around 6:30am, I was able to fall asleep without the need to regurgitate my Christmas dinner.

Now anyone that has a baby knows that they are not the most quiet of beings.  However, my wife being fully aware that I hadn't slept through the night, took Jack and went out for the day.  She left me alone in our quiet home to catch up on some much needed sleep.  When she got home, she also baked some cookies and treats for me all well looking after our son.

*insert eureka moment slapping me in the face here*

Guys, I don't know how good you are at paying attention to the little things, but I learned today that the little things are really big things, especially when she is doing all those "little" things for me while continuing to care for our son and maintain the rest of her insanely busy schedule.

Take time to say thank you and acknowledge the "little" things that she does.  She is doing so much more than you think and it is all because she loves you.  There are so many ways you can show your appreciation but sometimes it is a simple, "thank you" that will go a long way to show her that you noticed.

To my wife ... Thank you!  I am a very blessed man and very grateful for all that you do!



And that's a fact, Jack!

Being Useless

I'm fortunate in my job to meet a lot of people.  I work in retail and we sell baby clothes, furniture and supplies which means that I have an opportunity to speak with a lot of new dads.  This past week was no exception.

I met a lovely couple and the dad was holding his new 5 week old baby, Oliver.  Oliver was extremely sweet and his dad was very proud.  We got chatting about things and I told him about this blog.  I told him about how I am writing about the experience of raising a child from the father's perspective and he was very intrigued.

Part of our conversation led me to my post for today.  Have any new dad's ever felt like they are, for the lack of a better word, useless?  There are times when I go to comfort Jack and all he ever really wants is his mom.  Sure, I have moments when I can make him laugh, but in his moments of desperation, those moments when I want to be able to help him most, that's when I find myself inadequate for his needs.

I know it is phase of his childhood, but as I spoke with Oliver's father, he too shared my feelings of inadequacy.  He understood what it felt like to be "useless".  He actually was quite raw with his emotions, but in the few moments we spoke, I could sense that it was bothering him as much as it bothers me.

I will always be there for my son, but I have come to terms with being "useless" isn't such a bad thing.  I get the opportunity to love my son but I also get to witness one of life's little miracles ... a mother's touch.  It is in that moment, when you hand your child back to their mother as they scream in desperation only to watch them calm almost instantly, that you realize that your "uselessness" is for their gain.  Your child will know you love them because you gave them what they needed ... mom.

As guys, we like to fix things.  We like to make things right.  But our only hope in making things right is by letting go and trusting that what your child needs most is not you, but her.

Guys, if I can encourage you with only one thing, remember that being useless sometimes is the best way to love your child the most.  You might not always feel the best, but your child will feel the best because of you giving them what they needed most.  Until a hug from dad is needed, let mom play her part and you enjoy being useless.


And that's a fact, Jack!